Date night, no kids, and an open road to the local cinema to see the next blockbuster! We got our tickets. Ready, get set, and..."Honey could you wait just a moment while I freshen up in the bathroom? Oh you gotta be kidding me sweatheart the movie's gonna start! I know honey, just give me a minute and I'll be right out."

Anyone familiar with me knows patience is not my virtue. In fact, waiting for anything can be excruciating. During such times I have to find creative ways to focus my attention on something interesting, so my moods don't overtake me. 

I was standing near the hallway when someone spotted my lanyard and keys. They must have  thought I was a cinema employee because a patron came to me handing me her ticket and asking me to direct her to the movie she came to see. My first thought was, "I don't work here." But then I realized how much fun I was suddenly having. I obliged her. "Right this way mam." About 15 people later my wife comes out of the bathroom to find me working my second job. She says, "Are you having fun yet?" It made for a good laugh that otherwise could have turned into a meaningless argument. Sometimes the creative ADD mind can be the best show in town.

There are countless assessments, personality tests, and screening tools all over the Internet that give you a lot of information about your general interests, strengths, weaknesses, tendancies and on and on and on... But does it really get to the heart of who you truly are? Does it bring you to a genuine understanding of how you instinctively work?

Those assessments, personality tests, and screening tools and strategies "experts" offer have been developed and recommended based on how you and everyone else similar to you are the same. The assessment, test, tool or strategy works if you fit who the expert, generally speaking, has in mind. 

Do you find yourself sincerely trying strategy after strategy and falling short of the result you wanted? If you're not hitting the mark you had in mind,  please my friend, don't beat yourself up for that. When strategies are developed and marketed to the public it's designed to work for approximately 20% of the population it's meant to serve, leaving 80% behind to wonder what's wrong with themselves. I can't begin to tell you how many different oranizational systems and strategies I bought and tried only to conclude I was a loser because it should have worked. I mean, it was designed for me. Right? Not necessarily! 

Understanding your preferred learning style and the secondary styles of learning that influence that preferred style implies that you are different and unique. How you use that style to your advantage is the key. For instance, an individual who prefers to talk out loud to organize his thoughts (i.e. Verbal Processor) may have a secondary aural learning style. This individual may incorporate music as a way to verbally process information. The next verbal processor may find one or many different people to verbally process information with because they have a secondary social learning style. Do you know what your personal learning style combination is?

After you hone in on your specific style, now is the time to think about what tool you will use. Writing, recorders, files, journals, singing, drawing, etc. are all tools that can be effective, but only if they are a good match for your specific learning style combination. The right tool in the right context for your learning style will help your get the result you're looking for when you work. It's interesting how experts first direct you to the tool without asking you to consider how you're different. Remember, it's your life, your work, your way. It doesn't rest in the hands of a self proclaimed, expert tool man or marketer. If you want someone who is genuinely interested in you and how you insticntivley work, then download the "ADD Processing Style" (Upper right hand corner of this page) and call me for a FREE SESSION. Together, we'll discuss what's been revealed to you and how to use that to your advantage.

Best Wishes Friends,

Steve Gundy, MSW, ACG 
Attention Coach

 ADD and life can sometmes be a paradox. You're flying a plane one minute executing barrel roles and loop to loops. Then, suddenly, you find yourself scattered & out of control trying to read your flight instruments while steering franticly to stay on course. Coaching enables you to touch that co-pilot inside that guides you to a safe landing. Think about that for a second. Coaching touches the best part of who you are and doing amazing things when the real you shows up, regardless of what the ADD may look like. Safe landings to you my friends!

Nothing is perfect and there is no perfect plan. We all know that. But how often do we find ourselves falling into the belief that just short of perfection is failure? Is that true for you? What's underneath that kind of black & white thinking? I can personally relate it to prejudging a result that, in reality, isn't even there. Yet, in my mind, it has already happned. That's fear and it's like a train ride to nowhere, hoping for a stop that never happens. That kind of fear is the greatest source of procrastination I'm learning, even today, to overcome.

When you realize you are riding the train of perfection then derail the train. This means disrupt the thinking pattern that says, "I can't...until it is perfect." and judges what you will accomplish. A thinking pattern disrupt can look a lot of different ways. Here's a few to get your creativity flowing for something that is unique and works for you:

1. Write the judgement down on paper, then wad it up and throw it away. Do it until your trash can if full.

2. Call yourself and dump it into your voicemail. Leave it there, listen to it later, then erase it after you have rephrased it with an alternate perspective or something more positive.

3. Ask yourself three questions and give yourself an honest answer: What's the best thing that could happen? What's the worst thing that could happen? What's the realistic thing that will happen? The answer to the 3rd question will help you gain a more realistic perspective on you and your situation.

4. Come up with as many alternate results as you can to the negative result you are attached to. Ask trusted friends for an alternate perspective on this. Record them saying this on a digital recorder and play them back over and over and wait and listen for the result that speaks truth to your situation.

The fear of failure is really about making a perfect plan only to realize you fall short when you don't get perfect results. The truth is when the result you have in mind doesn't turn out exactly the way you wanted, the result is not a failure. It's a result that was meant to be revised. If we start looking at what we want for results in terms of being an evolutionary process that involves revisions, then we set ourselves up for taking action and moving towards the vision we hold near and dear to our hearts rather than riding the train of perfection to nowhere. On the other side of those revisions is a beautiful diamond, but remember that even once a lump of coal has formed into a diamond, the diamond still has flaws. The point is the lump of coal stuck to it's job, allowing the process to continue. 



 

 This is a great radio segment that articulates my coaching philosophy and approach to working with clients. Jeff Copper, Attention Coach, is a trusted colleague and friend of mine. The application: When the solution that should work isn't working, then pay attention to how you're different, so the solution meant for you is revealed.

Call Steve at 574-855-1800 to set up a FREE 30-minute coaching session and begin the process of transforming your differences into your solutions!

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling frantic and desperate. "God, are you there?" I don't know what to do. My mind is caving in. I've tried everything I know to do and it isn't working. Help me!"

Does it feel that way? Are you doing everything you can only to find yourself at the end of what you know to do? This experience is especially true for those with attention challenges. When pressure is mounting, work, marriage or financial trouble can feel excruciating. We're desperate under the weight of it all. Simply put, extreme pressure brings us to our knees!

What does it look like to experience God's presence? Pause with me and ponder for a moment not the question itself, but the process the question suggests. Who we are as a reflection of who God is creates the focus we need when we communicate with Him. This is crucial if we are going to truly experience God's presence amidst the extreme pressure our trouble inflicts.

Many people focus their attention on what they believe the act of prayer should be. I was taught growing up that clasping my hands with my head bowed and eyes closed was the accepted method of prayer. Unfortunately, as an adult with ADD, that method didn't create focus. It created a power nap! Needless to say, that was not my intention and the method of prayer I was using was a distraction.

My path to focused prayer was revealed to me when I pondered on a night I was experiencing the tremendous weight of a circumstance I could not bear. In my anguish, I instinctively lied on the floor and started speaking my inner dialogue. The more I spoke out loud, the more I felt God was listening. Now, with intention, I physically lower my body and speak out loud as a way to create the focus I need, so that I can truly experience God's presence.

The process of entering God's presence is the path to focused prayer. It's based on how you do it individually. The next time prayer is urgent pay attention to what's happening when you pray? Where are you? What do you hear? What are you feeling? Where in your body are you feeling it? If we shift our attention to the process, we will create the focus that draws us into His presence. Knowing our unique path to focused prayer relieves the pressure and enables us to" ...approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

The Creator can reveal how you were meant to connect with Him if you pay close attention to how He designed you. Want to accelerate that process? Call us today at 574-855-1800 for a FREE session.

 What do Earth, Mars, and Venus have in common? The answer to this question is obvious. What's not so obvious is how the question suggests an answer based on what's similar. This is how solutions are developed in our culture. We look at how most people, things, and situations are the same and then develop the steps needed to move a person from the problem to the solution. The application is "4 Steps to Conflict Resolution in Your Marriage", 3 Steps to Finding Work you Love in 30 Days" or "10 Easy Steps to Losing 10 Pounds." Problem solved! You simply execute the steps to achieve the desired outcome. But what if the steps to achieve what you want are'nt working?

Earth, Mars, and Venus are obviously planets. Specifically, they're similar because they rotate on an axis. But not until you look at what Earth does differently do you understand and appreciate its uniquenss. The axis of the Earth tilts differently. The speed of the Earth rotates differently. These differences make up Earth's unique composition. If we view Earth as being similar, then it's a planet. If we view Earth as being different, then we see how it's uniqe becuase it sustains life.

The fundemental challenge appears for ADDers when a sincere effort is given to execute the steps and solutions well meaning people give to assist them with their attention problems. Family, friends, Physicians, teachers, therapists, bosses, and sprititual leaders all want to see them live life more effectively. Yet, when an ADDer tries to adapt to the steps to solving a problem based on how most people are similar, the ADDer falls short. They conlucde they are broken and will never measure up.

Is an ADDer broken or different? How you answer that question could shift your focus and change your life. What's undeniably clear to me is this. When we look at our differences, we see value. When we pay attention to our God given, unique composition, what's revealed to us is unique and, like Earth, sustains life. Don't look for solutions based on what's similar because you are not the same. Rather, look for solutions based on how you're different. This is done by learning how to pay attention to how you do it differently. Coaching accelerates the learning process so interest is engaged, focus is created, and energy propels you forward. That's powerful!

Are you ready to accelerate your process? Let's go...!