What do Earth, Mars, and Venus have in common? The answer to this question is obvious. What's not so obvious is how the question suggests an answer based on what's similar. This is how solutions are developed in our culture. We look at how most people, things, and situations are the same and then develop the steps needed to move a person from the problem to the solution. The application is "4 Steps to Conflict Resolution in Your Marriage", 3 Steps to Finding Work you Love in 30 Days" or "10 Easy Steps to Losing 10 Pounds." Problem solved! You simply execute the steps to achieve the desired outcome. But what if the steps to achieve what you want are'nt working?

Earth, Mars, and Venus are obviously planets. Specifically, they're similar because they rotate on an axis. But not until you look at what Earth does differently do you understand and appreciate its uniquenss. The axis of the Earth tilts differently. The speed of the Earth rotates differently. These differences make up Earth's unique composition. If we view Earth as being similar, then it's a planet. If we view Earth as being different, then we see how it's uniqe becuase it sustains life.

The fundemental challenge appears for ADDers when a sincere effort is given to execute the steps and solutions well meaning people give to assist them with their attention problems. Family, friends, Physicians, teachers, therapists, bosses, and sprititual leaders all want to see them live life more effectively. Yet, when an ADDer tries to adapt to the steps to solving a problem based on how most people are similar, the ADDer falls short. They conlucde they are broken and will never measure up.

Is an ADDer broken or different? How you answer that question could shift your focus and change your life. What's undeniably clear to me is this. When we look at our differences, we see value. When we pay attention to our God given, unique composition, what's revealed to us is unique and, like Earth, sustains life. Don't look for solutions based on what's similar because you are not the same. Rather, look for solutions based on how you're different. This is done by learning how to pay attention to how you do it differently. Coaching accelerates the learning process so interest is engaged, focus is created, and energy propels you forward. That's powerful!

Are you ready to accelerate your process? Let's go...!
 
 
I couldn't stop ruminating on my shortcomings and lamenting on my mistakes. I was doing everything wrong or procrastinating not doing anything at all. To work through my anger and frustration I tried therapy, but then I knew more about ADHD than everyone around me. I would engage my relationships ready to fight to prove why I could or to justify why I could not. That seemed to be doing more harm than good. Finding out I had ADHD wasn't enough. The diagnosis told me what was wrong. It told me I was broken. I felt desperate and hopeless.

Then, I opened up a book and it said, "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." After reading that my attention started shifting from what seemed broken, depserate and hopeless, to what was wonderful and right. I started realizing the brain I thought was broken and defective was just wired differently. Now I have the courage to "...know full well." the unique strengths and abilities I have come to appreciate.

What is the story that is being written about your life? Is it a story of being broken, desperate, and hopeless or a story of what is unique and set apart for a special purpose? Coaching is the process of writing a new story for your life and then living that story with courage. Each new strength revealed is a "knowing".

Identify one thing that is right about you no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Then, out loud, in your own way, repeat the following:

Today I know that I am _______ and it is wonderful.

Something wonderful is waiting to be revealed to you! I would love to know what that is. Let's talk!
 
 
Is pressure making your brain freeze? Here are 4 steps that will help:
Request a Break:
Practice this statement repeatedly in the mirror, "Let me think about that and get back with you." It's ok to let someone know politely you need a brief moment to gather your thoughts when your response is suddenly required.
Take a Deep Breath:
During the break close your eyes. Is your heart thumping or mind racing? take a deep breath and count backwards slowly from 5. This helps your body shift down to a lower gear.
Begin Again:
Try again and go slowly. Going somewhere slowly is more effective than going nowhere quickly.
Dump it:
Share your frustration and anxiety with a trusted friend. If a trusted friend isn't available, then do the same into your voicemail. Write it into a journal. Dump it. It's ok. Dump it!

Looking for a safe place to relieve the pressure? Try here!
 
 
I remember it vividly. It was my turn to solve the math problem Mrs. Dawson wrote on the chalkboard. A moment of silence and then those dreaded words, "Steve, we're waiting!" I didn't know what to say. The harder I tried to think, the more I panicked. I just wanted to be able to do it! But in the moment, when it mattered, I froze. It was like running off a cliff without a bridge to take me to the other side. I broke down in tears, burying my head at my desk in the back of class where I hoped I wouldn't be noticed. The teacher moved on to the next student and I was left humiliated.

I never understoodwhat happened that day until an ADHD Coach explained to me that the part of my brain responsibile for focusing decreases under pressure when I try to concentrate. I realized all those times people told me to try harder made things worse. Coaching helped me see myself differently. I learned I wasn't lazy, stupid or crazy. I realized that I had a way of learning and working that revealed a unique set of strengths that I'm using to my advantage even today. Coaching relieved the pressure and gave me the support I needed to succeed!
 
 
Our culture markets two extremes. 1) The effectiveness of psychotropic medication with a judgment on naturopathic quacks and their questionable home remedies they must be mixing in their basements. 2) The benefits of all natural, 100% organic, God given food & herbs that exposes the evil, money driven pharmaceutical companies & their horse pills you have to take every day for the rest of your life!

After a barrage of marketing & unsolicited opinions, the overwhelming maze of choices can feel like a haze. What is a balanced perspective on Medication? Psychotropic Medications are man made substances. When ingested into a body, they can potentially help an individual function more effectively. Also, they can possibly produce an unintended consequence or side effect. Naturopathic food & herbs are natural sources of nutrients for the body that supplement diet & can possibly help an individual function more effectively. They too potentially result in side effects.
 
I have used both psychotropic medication and vitamin supplementation. I have seen a Medical Doctor & a Naturopathic Doctor. I have taken psychostimulants & an antidepressant that has stimulating properties. I have also taken fish oil. Both treatments, taken daily, have had long lasting positive effects on my effectiveness at work, home, and socially. Also, it didn’t go without having to try different treatments in different combinations to achieve the maximum effect.

Both psychiatry and homeopathic approaches are administered on a trial and error basis to some degree. Both can produce side effects. Psychotropic medication can produce side effects that can be severe especially when abused. Naturopathic approaches can do the same, for instance, when you have an allergic reaction to a particular herb. Be careful to not pass judgment on one or the other. 

The key is in finding the right combination of medications and supplements that can maximize your wellness and overall effectiveness while consulting your Doctor. 
 
Coaching is an adjunct to treatment. While you are consulting your Doctor & going through the process of determining the right treatment combination for you, a coach can suppport you by providing the space you need to make throughtful decisions to address your attention challenges and motivate you to take action!
 
 
In the movie “The Patriot” the eldest son, Gabrielle, has been taken by the British Army. He is to be hung as a spy. The father & Patriot, Benjamin Martin, has just witnessed the death of his son, Thomas, & the burning of his home at the hands of the Redcoats. Benjamin reacts by taking his two youngest sons, Samuel & Nathan, to cut off the Redcoats in the wilderness & reclaim Gabrielle. While waiting, Benjamin looks at his boys and says, “What did I teach you about shooting?” The boys reply without hesitation. “Aim small, miss small!” Benjamin looks at the fear in his boy’s eyes & tells them with confidence, “Boys…steady!”
 
If you are serious about taking your life back, then you must pick up the gun, aim it, & start shooting at something. What is your target? Coaching provides the space for that to be revealed.
 
What if I miss the bull's eye? Fear is a reality for anyone who acts with courage!  How do I overcome the fear of missing the bull’s eye? Let me answer that question by asking another question. Have you completely missed your target if you haven’t hit the bull’s eye? People tend to define success in terms of reaching 100% of the intended goal. But consider that reaching 85% of the goal is 85% more than the other person who never picked up the gun, aimed it, and pulled the trigger.
 
You have a target in your sight. Steady! Aim small! Shoot for the bull’s eye! Give yourself permission to miss small. If you conclude that hitting the bull’s eye is an all or nothing venture, then achieving your goals will fall on the side of nothing!
 
What it would feel like if 85% of your most cluttered room in your home was organized in a way you could still find things? How would it feel to know you read 50% of the book you intended to read this month? How about 65% of the things you wanted to do to let your friends know they matter to you? What if these three things I have listed caused your confidence in yourself to grow by 25%? Would you feel differently about yourself?

Aim small & miss small. You’ll hit your target every time! Do you have a scope on your gun that can help improve your accuracy? The scope is the coach that will help you stay on target. Give yourself the permission. It’s ok because you matter!
 
As for Benjamin Martin? He reclaimed his son. Yes, it took more than one shot!
 
 
Study results released May 2008 revealed the effect of ADHD on workers. The lack of ability to concentrate costs the average worker 22.1 days of “role performance” per year, including 8.7 extra days absent according to researchers at the Netherlands Institute of Mental Health and Addiction. The United States specifically was estimated to be 28.3 days. The research suggests that it might be cost effective to screen workers for ADHD and provide treatment. Dr. Ron Kessler of Harvard University worked with workers suffering from depression and found that treatment costing $1,000 could help prevent $4,000 in lost productivity. Dr. Kessler says, “It sure looks like the effect would be as big, if not bigger, for ADHD.”

How many more workers are not accounted for in this study that have been fired due to poor performance issues related to ADHD? The implications of this research points to the need for worker accommodations. Your success is linked with your employer’s bottom line as it is with any worker, but even more so for you, the ADDer. Remember, where there is a deficit there is an outsized ability waiting to be revealed. Coaching will provide the support to positively impact your employer's bottom line that puts them in the black! How would it feel to know your work delivered that kind of value? You can do it YOUR way!