Date night, no kids, and an open road to the local cinema to see the next blockbuster! We got our tickets. Ready, get set, and..."Honey could you wait just a moment while I freshen up in the bathroom? Oh you gotta be kidding me sweatheart the movie's gonna start! I know honey, just give me a minute and I'll be right out."

Anyone familiar with me knows patience is not my virtue. In fact, waiting for anything can be excruciating. During such times I have to find creative ways to focus my attention on something interesting, so my moods don't overtake me. 

I was standing near the hallway when someone spotted my lanyard and keys. They must have  thought I was a cinema employee because a patron came to me handing me her ticket and asking me to direct her to the movie she came to see. My first thought was, "I don't work here." But then I realized how much fun I was suddenly having. I obliged her. "Right this way mam." About 15 people later my wife comes out of the bathroom to find me working my second job. She says, "Are you having fun yet?" It made for a good laugh that otherwise could have turned into a meaningless argument. Sometimes the creative ADD mind can be the best show in town.

Nothing is perfect and there is no perfect plan. We all know that. But how often do we find ourselves falling into the belief that just short of perfection is failure? Is that true for you? What's underneath that kind of black & white thinking? I can personally relate it to prejudging a result that, in reality, isn't even there. Yet, in my mind, it has already happned. That's fear and it's like a train ride to nowhere, hoping for a stop that never happens. That kind of fear is the greatest source of procrastination I'm learning, even today, to overcome.

When you realize you are riding the train of perfection then derail the train. This means disrupt the thinking pattern that says, "I can't...until it is perfect." and judges what you will accomplish. A thinking pattern disrupt can look a lot of different ways. Here's a few to get your creativity flowing for something that is unique and works for you:

1. Write the judgement down on paper, then wad it up and throw it away. Do it until your trash can if full.

2. Call yourself and dump it into your voicemail. Leave it there, listen to it later, then erase it after you have rephrased it with an alternate perspective or something more positive.

3. Ask yourself three questions and give yourself an honest answer: What's the best thing that could happen? What's the worst thing that could happen? What's the realistic thing that will happen? The answer to the 3rd question will help you gain a more realistic perspective on you and your situation.

4. Come up with as many alternate results as you can to the negative result you are attached to. Ask trusted friends for an alternate perspective on this. Record them saying this on a digital recorder and play them back over and over and wait and listen for the result that speaks truth to your situation.

The fear of failure is really about making a perfect plan only to realize you fall short when you don't get perfect results. The truth is when the result you have in mind doesn't turn out exactly the way you wanted, the result is not a failure. It's a result that was meant to be revised. If we start looking at what we want for results in terms of being an evolutionary process that involves revisions, then we set ourselves up for taking action and moving towards the vision we hold near and dear to our hearts rather than riding the train of perfection to nowhere. On the other side of those revisions is a beautiful diamond, but remember that even once a lump of coal has formed into a diamond, the diamond still has flaws. The point is the lump of coal stuck to it's job, allowing the process to continue. 



 

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling frantic and desperate. "God, are you there?" I don't know what to do. My mind is caving in. I've tried everything I know to do and it isn't working. Help me!"

Does it feel that way? Are you doing everything you can only to find yourself at the end of what you know to do? This experience is especially true for those with attention challenges. When pressure is mounting, work, marriage or financial trouble can feel excruciating. We're desperate under the weight of it all. Simply put, extreme pressure brings us to our knees!

What does it look like to experience God's presence? Pause with me and ponder for a moment not the question itself, but the process the question suggests. Who we are as a reflection of who God is creates the focus we need when we communicate with Him. This is crucial if we are going to truly experience God's presence amidst the extreme pressure our trouble inflicts.

Many people focus their attention on what they believe the act of prayer should be. I was taught growing up that clasping my hands with my head bowed and eyes closed was the accepted method of prayer. Unfortunately, as an adult with ADD, that method didn't create focus. It created a power nap! Needless to say, that was not my intention and the method of prayer I was using was a distraction.

My path to focused prayer was revealed to me when I pondered on a night I was experiencing the tremendous weight of a circumstance I could not bear. In my anguish, I instinctively lied on the floor and started speaking my inner dialogue. The more I spoke out loud, the more I felt God was listening. Now, with intention, I physically lower my body and speak out loud as a way to create the focus I need, so that I can truly experience God's presence.

The process of entering God's presence is the path to focused prayer. It's based on how you do it individually. The next time prayer is urgent pay attention to what's happening when you pray? Where are you? What do you hear? What are you feeling? Where in your body are you feeling it? If we shift our attention to the process, we will create the focus that draws us into His presence. Knowing our unique path to focused prayer relieves the pressure and enables us to" ...approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

The Creator can reveal how you were meant to connect with Him if you pay close attention to how He designed you. Want to accelerate that process? Call us today at 574-855-1800 for a FREE session.

Is pressure making your brain freeze? Here are 4 steps that will help:
Request a Break:
Practice this statement repeatedly in the mirror, "Let me think about that and get back with you." It's ok to let someone know politely you need a brief moment to gather your thoughts when your response is suddenly required.
Take a Deep Breath:
During the break close your eyes. Is your heart thumping or mind racing? take a deep breath and count backwards slowly from 5. This helps your body shift down to a lower gear.
Begin Again:
Try again and go slowly. Going somewhere slowly is more effective than going nowhere quickly.
Dump it:
Share your frustration and anxiety with a trusted friend. If a trusted friend isn't available, then do the same into your voicemail. Write it into a journal. Dump it. It's ok. Dump it!

Looking for a safe place to relieve the pressure? Try here!

I remember it vividly. It was my turn to solve the math problem Mrs. Dawson wrote on the chalkboard. A moment of silence and then those dreaded words, "Steve, we're waiting!" I didn't know what to say. The harder I tried to think, the more I panicked. I just wanted to be able to do it! But in the moment, when it mattered, I froze. It was like running off a cliff without a bridge to take me to the other side. I broke down in tears, burying my head at my desk in the back of class where I hoped I wouldn't be noticed. The teacher moved on to the next student and I was left humiliated.

I never understoodwhat happened that day until an ADHD Coach explained to me that the part of my brain responsibile for focusing decreases under pressure when I try to concentrate. I realized all those times people told me to try harder made things worse. Coaching helped me see myself differently. I learned I wasn't lazy, stupid or crazy. I realized that I had a way of learning and working that revealed a unique set of strengths that I'm using to my advantage even today. Coaching relieved the pressure and gave me the support I needed to succeed!

Our culture markets two extremes. 1) The effectiveness of psychotropic medication with a judgment on naturopathic quacks and their questionable home remedies they must be mixing in their basements. 2) The benefits of all natural, 100% organic, God given food & herbs that exposes the evil, money driven pharmaceutical companies & their horse pills you have to take every day for the rest of your life!

After a barrage of marketing & unsolicited opinions, the overwhelming maze of choices can feel like a haze. What is a balanced perspective on Medication? Psychotropic Medications are man made substances. When ingested into a body, they can potentially help an individual function more effectively. Also, they can possibly produce an unintended consequence or side effect. Naturopathic food & herbs are natural sources of nutrients for the body that supplement diet & can possibly help an individual function more effectively. They too potentially result in side effects.
 
I have used both psychotropic medication and vitamin supplementation. I have seen a Medical Doctor & a Naturopathic Doctor. I have taken psychostimulants & an antidepressant that has stimulating properties. I have also taken fish oil. Both treatments, taken daily, have had long lasting positive effects on my effectiveness at work, home, and socially. Also, it didn’t go without having to try different treatments in different combinations to achieve the maximum effect.

Both psychiatry and homeopathic approaches are administered on a trial and error basis to some degree. Both can produce side effects. Psychotropic medication can produce side effects that can be severe especially when abused. Naturopathic approaches can do the same, for instance, when you have an allergic reaction to a particular herb. Be careful to not pass judgment on one or the other. 

The key is in finding the right combination of medications and supplements that can maximize your wellness and overall effectiveness while consulting your Doctor. 
 
Coaching is an adjunct to treatment. While you are consulting your Doctor & going through the process of determining the right treatment combination for you, a coach can suppport you by providing the space you need to make throughtful decisions to address your attention challenges and motivate you to take action!